So here’s the story. You get married and had your first baby. After two years, you had another one. Your 2-year old son might be wondering why your tummy is big. And a few months later you had a healthy daughter with your son wondering who might that be.
“Who might that little thing my mom is carrying in her arms?” That question may pop out of your children’s mind if he or she is not aware of what’s happening. A new baby can give off a great modification to the older child’s behavior.
Any children might feel that the new baby is taking over the role in the family which can lead to sibling rivalry later on if there’s no proper action. The changes can be shown in various ways such as pinching, poking and throwing things out to the new born baby.
The children struggle with feelings of jealousy by throwing tantrums and refusing to use potty even if they have been potty trained. It is very common and their way of directing their resentment and confusion about their role as your children and as part of the family.
These reactions are completely normal upon the arrival of the new baby in the house. A lot of parents had the struggles on this situation, and that is why it is important to take steps beforehand to avoid future problems with sibling relationships at the young age. If you are one who struggles, you must read this before it’s too late!
Preparing the Kids
The new baby’s arrival can bring changes to the family. Parents take time and energy on making necessities, and after the baby enter the family tree, most of the family’s attention concerns the newborn. This change on care can be hard for the older sibling to handle. But mother and father can prepare older kids for the addition of a new member. During pregnancy, a mother can discuss the matter in a way that child can relate, something that can make sense to them. She can make agreements and talk to the kid about how to take care of the younger sibling.
There are productive ways to make the whole process seamless and worry-free. Here are some that make the changeover process a little bit effortless. Introduce them like a pro.
1. The 9-month preparation
Let the child regularly talk with the baby on your tummy and give belly kisses. In that way, they will get used to the sense of loving the future member of the house before they even arrive.
2. Everyone gets a baby
You should say to your child that everyone gets a baby including him or her. An efficient way of saying this is to make an example of an animal with its baby and compare it to your situation. You may also want to give a stuffed toy to you child for her or him to take care of like a practice.
This technique can lessen the feeling of confusion and jealousy. In the same manner, it is also compelling to let your child participate in taking care of the newborn. You can let your child help like letting him hold the feeding bottle and putting away the baby’s used clothes. In that way, they will feel involved and needed in the new scenario in the house.
3. The unbiased first introduction is a check
Ideally, it is a no-no for the parent to hold the newborn child during the time of their first acquaintance. It is also important to avoid enviousness or any other unfavorable thoughts and interactions to the child.
It is best to put the baby in a place that seemed equal for them like in the mattresses, or bassinets and approach them together. It sets up the harmony of the relationship between you and your older child. This way of meeting the baby together is better than forcing your child for introduction telling him or her to say hello.
4. Have time together
As a parent, you must find a way for the siblings to have time together and it’s much better if they are with you. You might want them to take meals, bath, clean up and sleep together. Perhaps, have them together in sleepmaker beds and encourage play which will undoubtedly strengthen their connection with each other as siblings.
5. Thoughtful visitors
If your mother, father, sister, other family members, and friends are planning to stop by to visit your cute baby, it’s better to tell them ahead of time if they are planning to bring gifts, they should bring a simple present for the older child as well. As simple as seems but it will help them feel special. They will not feel deserted because they will feel like no one forgets them even if there’s a new baby.
A Child’s Question
It is essential for a parent to know how much detail to tell children especially when he or she asks questions. Just like for example, a 3-year-old child asks: “Why there is a baby in your tummy?”, “Where will it come out?”.
Regardless of the tone of the question, you must give feedback in such a manner that it fits her capacity to understand the words you are saying. Answers like “It will come out from my tummy” may suffice her curiosity. But as a parent, it is better to wait for your child’s reaction to your answer before moving to the next topic.
You may also want to expose your child through visiting friends who also have infants, preparing the baby’s stuff and explain its uses, allowing them to listen to the neonate’s heartbeat and even letting them participate while you are thinking of the possible names for your new baby.
No matter how busy you are, how drowned you are with what you are doing, you as a parent must always find opportunities to discuss what the kids are feeling about having a new brother or sister from time to time.
Without considering the age of an older child, as a parent, you have to make sure he or she gets particular attention to let them feel your thoughtfulness and love even if you have a newborn. You may think it doesn’t affect your child, but it matters. Just with those mere stepping stones, it can change the lighten up mood and relationship inside the house.